I AM SERIOUSLY ANNOYED AT THE WORD "TWILIGHT". Wait, let me rephrase that, I AM SERIOUSLY ANNOYED AT TWILIGHT FANS
(or Twilighters, or TwiHards, or TwiDouches) THAT GOES ON AND ON ABOUT HOW TWILIGHT IS AWESOME.
No, Twilight IS NOT awesome. It's NOT an awesome movie, nor has an awesome story line.
WHY? Why I don't like Twilight? I'll tell you why.
1
The plot is inept, shallow, cheesy, repetitive and disgustingly vapid. Where is the sophistication in that?! Oh wait, the targeted audience are
15 year-old-GIRLS. I guess they're not going to notice all that as long as you have shirtless wolf-men jumping around semi-naked.
2
Speaking of that, shirtless werewolves….in cold climate? Ha.
I suppose it'd be
slightly believable if his skin is made from bark, since they live deep in the forest or even something less risible; a furry human skin (pun intended).
3
So Edward is 108 years old correct? So why the fuck does he still has the emotional maturity of a 17 year old boy?! I mean gee, for someone who's been living that long, I figured he'd be a little more matured. Would you not?
4
I don't know if you still call this acting, but take a look at Robert Pattinson's facial expression, even when he's supposed to be angry, it looks more like a heavy pouting.
"Get away from me!" POUT
"I love you" POUT
Then there's Kristin Steward, though she's undoubtedly attractive, but her looks won't cut it for her. All she does is look bored. Is she subtly trying to tell that she's bored of the same plot but still has to go through it because she has already cashed the check?!
Ha.
5
Which leads me to my other point, Bella spends most of her time oozing about how beautiful Edward is and he just acts like the wounded dutiful boyfriend. Aren't vampires supposed to be irresistibly alluring and dons the mask of cordiality?
6
Congratulations Meyers. Vampires are now pussies. Vlad who again?
7
Bella makes me cringe (in disgust). She's the epitome of a psychopathic bitch, albeit dramatized. I mean after Edward leaves her, she goes on this cuckoo parade and when she finally finds her supernatural shirtless wolf-man (
yawn), she's
STILL not happy. What the fuck? Not only that, but she makes Jacob believe that they have a future together. Then when Edward, the guy who dumped her returns, bye-bye wolf-man.
So Mr. Wolfie over here is just a rebound? Is that what Meyer's trying to tell her 15-year-old-fans?
GO FIND A REBOUND VICTIM WHEN YOU’VE BEEN DUMPED AND THEN KICK HIM TO THE CURB ONCE YOUR PARTNER RETURNS?!
8
I find that Bella is narcissistic, insipid and does nothing but whines about her life. And these completely negate her attractive looks.
9
And finally, my
ULTIMATE reason why I think Twilight is a joke, Vampires can't go into the sun because their skin will sparkle thus giving away their supernaturalness.
WEE.
Meyers completely removed the fundamental idea that sunlight destroys these swift, super-strength, leaping mutants and made them invulnerable to anything except for fire.
All the sun does, is make them look sexy.
Sparkle sparkle sparkle.
So there you go, my 9 MAIN reasons. If you've read it and agree with me, then good, glad we're on the same boat, but if you've read it and think I'm a jealous nutbag, then screw you, because you're obviously a Twilight-diehard-fan who does nothing but praises over a ludicrous high school romance movie/books.
And plus, THIS vampire will surely kick Edward's scrawny little diamante butt!
Donbie cum Vampy. Multipurpose much? LOL
